Are You Closed Off to Magic? ✨

Last summer I visited Martha’s Vineyard to spend a couple days with a friend and her husband. It was the first time my friend's husband had ever met me, but he’d “heard of me”

HA!

After I got there we went out to dinner, and decided to grab some drinks first. The bar was absolute chaos. People packed shoulder to shoulder. No seats available.

I yelled over the buzz of people “I’m gonna head to the bar and grab the first round!”

So I squeezed my way up to the bar and asked to see the cocktail menu. While I was looking, I noticed the woman next to me had a bourbon drink that looked incredible.

So I asked her what she was drinking.

That was it.
That was the opener.

Not:
​“So what do you do?”

Not:
​“Where are you from?”

Not some weird networking icebreaker that I thought about way too much before I said it.

Just:
​“What’s that?”

She pointed to it on the menu and started telling me about the bourbon.

Then somehow we started talking about other bourbons.
Then whiskey bars.
Then travel.
Then podcasts.

Then her dad came back from the bathroom and joined the conversation.

And at some point I waved my friends over because now suddenly we were all in this conversation together.

The five of us stood there talking for probably twenty minutes.

Laughing.
Telling stories.
Talking about adventures and life and random things people somehow only tell strangers and close friends.

Eventually our table was ready and we had to leave. And while we were walking away, my friend’s husband looked at me and said:

“I genuinely cannot tell if you are insane or magical.”

Fair Enough.

I looked at him and said:

“There’s magic happening around us all the time. Most people are just too closed off to experience it.”

And I mean that, because these moments happen to me constantly.

Not because I’m the most charismatic person in every room.
Not because I’m extroverted 24/7.

It’s because I participate.

I ask the question.
I make the comment.
I stay open just a few seconds longer than most people do.

And I think about this a lot lately because we are living in a time where people are profoundly lonely.

Everyone says they want connection, community, friendship, belonging. But we are also becoming increasingly afraid of each other.

Afraid of awkwardness.
Afraid of bothering people.
Afraid of looking weird.
Afraid of saying the wrong thing.
Afraid of being “too much.”
Afraid of rejection.

So instead, people move through the world sealed shut, headphones in, eyes down, phone up.

Tiny little barriers around themselves at all times.

And listen, I understand it. The world feels heavy right now, people are tired and protective and way too overstimulated.

But I also think we are accidentally opting out of the very thing we are starving for.

Connection.

Not every interaction has to become a friendship.
Not every conversation has to become a networking opportunity.
Not every moment has to “lead somewhere.”

But some moments do.

Some moments become stories.
Some become opportunities.
Some become friendships.
Some become reminders that people are actually wonderful.

And sometimes all of that starts with something as simple as:

“What are you drinking?”

Maybe the magic isn’t rare. Maybe participation is.

Cheers,
JB 🥑

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