This Sh!t Works!

There are few phrases in the English language that sound more relaxing than, "We're heading to our beach house this week for a staycation." You can practically feel your blood pressure dropping just saying it. No airports. No delayed flights. No rental cars. No tiny hotel shampoo bottles that somehow leave your hair feeling both greasy and dry. This week is just us, the beach, two dogs, a stack of books, and absolutely nowhere to be. And, it was going to be so peaceful. Or...that was the...

Last week Bentley was neutered. Which, if you're a dog owner, you know is usually a fairly routine procedure. Except Bentley decided routine was for other pet parents. While they were in there, the vet also repaired two umbilical hernias, which means my sweet little velociraptor didn't just come home with one surgical site. His entire tummy is basically stitched together. So for the last week and a half I've been living with one full-time job: Preventing a puppy from being...a puppy. If...

If you've been around here for a while, you know I have a completely unnecessary obsession with Tudor England. I can't explain it. Give me a documentary about Henry VIII, Anne Boleyn, Elizabeth I, or Mary Queen of Scots and I am absolutely locked in. One of the things that has always fascinated me is how royal marriages worked. Imagine someone telling you: "Congratulations! We've found you the perfect spouse." "Wonderful! What's he like?" "Well...here's a painting." That's it. Somewhere...

People often assume my job is standing on stage. It's not. That's just the part everyone sees. The last six weeks I've been off the road, and while it might look like I've been taking a little break...I can assure you, my laptop would strongly disagree. This morning I finished the first draft of The BOLD Factor. Which sounds exciting...until you realize what "finished the first draft" actually means. It means it's time to tear the whole thing to shreds. And honestly? It deserves it. Because...

Four weeks ago I broke and dislocated my toe. Not stubbed it. Not bruised it.Broke it. AND Dislocated it. Badly. How badly, you might ask? The kind of bad where you look at your foot and immediately know: "Oh. That's not supposed to look like that." At first, I thought I had one problem….It turns out, I had two. Because my husband took one look at my foot...and promptly passed the F&CK out. Which is honestly a wild thing to witness while you're in excruciating pain. There I was trying to...

I was chatting with my younger sister this morning and she mentioned that it was my nephew's last day of school. Which means all over America children are running out of buildings screaming: "FREEDOMMMMMM!" While a parents quietly Google: "How many days until September?" I can still remember the last day of school. Lockers getting cleaned out, signing yearbooks, that weird feeling in your stomach because the summer felt enormous. Three months of possibility stretched out in front of you. You...

Six years ago, my book became the #1 New Release on Amazon in the Business & Professional Humor category. I think it held the top spot for a few days. And while that's a fun thing to say out loud, that's actually not the part I thought about when the memory showed up on my phone. I thought about is how close I came to never writing it at all. Because before there was an Amazon ranking, before there were readers, before there were 5 star reviews, before there were speaking engagements that...

This weekend I closed my laptop and completely devoured a book called Shark Heart. The premise is that a man is diagnosed with a rare condition that causes him to gradually transform into a great white shark. 🦈 Which sounds completely absurd when you say it out loud. But somewhere along the way you stop trying to explain why this mutation could never happen to someone. Because the book isn't about a shark. It's about love. It's about grief. It's about watching someone you love change into...

Last summer I visited Martha’s Vineyard to spend a couple days with a friend and her husband. It was the first time my friend's husband had ever met me, but he’d “heard of me” HA! After I got there we went out to dinner, and decided to grab some drinks first. The bar was absolute chaos. People packed shoulder to shoulder. No seats available. I yelled over the buzz of people “I’m gonna head to the bar and grab the first round!” So I squeezed my way up to the bar and asked to see the cocktail...